April 08, 2007

Happy Easter

Don't forget what today is really about.

Zombie Jesus - Threadless, Best T-shirts Ever

Every year Zombie Jesus wanders the world handing out chocolate eggs, while devouring the flesh of sacrificed rabbits (in Australia, bilbies; and in South America, capybaras) while reminiscing about the good old days when he went around to rocking parties and turned water into wine and Judas wasn't such a jealous prick.

Zombie Jesus is the eternal enemy of vampires and the forces of Satan.

That Jesus is now a zombie presents an uneasy tension between Vaudan faith and contemporary Christianity. Pope Benedict XVI, when asked about the validity of Zombie Jesus mythos mentioned something about henious blasphemy and "you gotta be shitting me", but this is easily invalidated as most Christians are quite vocal in pointing out Catholics aren't real Christians anyway.

Tradition dictates followers partake in cannibalism, sadomachistic voyuerism, and a peculiar form of undirected pilgrimage. Confusion should not be made between zombies and clowns, and consequently clowns and terrorists, that's just whack...

There has also been speculation that Zombie Jesus may be a time traveller from the future. This may further explain how he is his own father.

Unrelated info: Uncyclopedia.

1 Comments:

At Sun. Apr. 08, 09:48:00 pm AEST, Blogger Kate said...

Let's write a book on holidays; it would be so very informative.

You've covered Easter VERY well, thank you very much, and I managed to write up the story of St. Patrick's day a few years back.

Happy, Merry, Blessed Festivus,
Kate of Le Monde de Kate de Fromage

 

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