Things that rock - Snowboarding and Lesbians

Do I really need to write an entry now that that title is sitting there...

I bet the images running through your head are probably a lot better than reality - but alas I will ahve to burst your bubble.

Last weekend I went snowboarding for the first time. Despite going with 30 odd Japanese (plus another gaijin, and her half Japanese friend) I wasn't the only "sno-bo virgin" in the group. I was possibly the only snow-sports virgin though.

With ShimoYake/Chilblain clearing up nicely thanks to a combination of cream, massage and Vitamin E supplements (which I have now run out of, I think I will need to try my hand at getting the right self medication), I still thought I should rug up a bit to prevent a relapse. I wore an extra layer on my legs, making it four (five with ski pants), double socks, and a total of 7 torso layers (undershirt, small T x 2, long sleeve T, long sleeve shirt, heavy jacket and ski jacket). Oh, yes, be prepared.
With my small frame, I almost looked like a normal sized person.

We set out at 5am on a rented bus, the drinking started about 5:30. I thought that perhaps there was some connection between general coordination and the ability top stay upright on a snowboard, I didn't participate too much in this (plus it was mostly shitty-Japanese-beer-in-a-can --- I detest any beverage in a can, don't like beer, and Asahi has nothing on XXXX). The bus also had karaoke - how fucking awesome is that - rent a bus, get drunk, and karaoke -- sadly unlike Box karaoke, Bus karaoke is Japanese only playfield. There were maybe 3 Beatles songs, a few Madonna, and some other 70s stuff. Given I have trouble recognising 80s American music, I have no chance with stuff thats even older.

I had to rent the whole kit-and-kaboodle - boots, board, suit, goggles. And once being decked out we hit the slopes. Never-been snowboarders got quick lesson (in Japanese) of how to stand up, go down and most importantly brake. This is very important. Almost any other speed-based-sport I have down whether carting, skating, or surf-sports (and driving I think)- I have learned braking last (or not really payed attention when it was taught first). So with snowboarding I thought that now I'm a bit more mature and can try and handle my speed demon preferences and learn how to break first. About 5 minutes later I was convinced by Hiro to go tackle a slope.

Snowboarding is awesome. The weather was good. Apparently the snow was a bit icy (and therefore all the more painful to fall) - but its not like I have a whole history of experience in this department to compare it too. The most scary things about it were the ski-lifts (to the amusement of anybody sharing mine - thank you in-built vertigo) and trying to go down with your back facing downwards (obviously I was not to keen on turning right around just yet).

Due to my awesome 7 layers I was nice an toasty the whoe day. Until lunch, when I shed a few due to the heat to discover that indeed being toasty means being sweaty, and therefore wet. Being wet and snowsports don't mix. It means getting very cold. But I survived nonetheless. I also learned on my last (insanely stupidly high) run that the piece of cord that appeared to be holding my boot clips together was supposed to go around my leg like a surfboard leg-rope. Nice of Sensei "clip-in-your-boots-and-go" to tell me when he was cecking I was puuting myself together okay. At the end of insanely stupid run (we got lost and ended up on a flat speed course) I may have ran into some students, but I was entiely to worn out to care.

There was only one lesbian in this story (sorry). On the bus ride home, in attempt to bridge my communication barrier with Japanese tried to learn some Japanese from a cool lesbian. Unluckily we discovered I know too many dirty sex terms already, and that was all she felt she could try and teach me. So instead I ended up teaching her stupid English phonics, which isn't exactly the greatest fun to do on your day off, but she was fun and cute. I think I need more lesbian friends, it might bring me back to the comfortable time when I had female friends who I wouldn't hit on because it was pointless (me being of total undesirability, and lack of money and prestige - I swear I used to have self esteem when I was 5, but that was so long ago).


The pain of not stretching my upper body came apparent on Monday and led into what might be my worst week so far in Japan (topping coming to work and discovering no English-co-worker). So continues the ever rollercoaster-esqe style of my life here. At least this means tonights party should fucking rock the socks of the world.

Pander to my Brain

In additions to hopeless attempt at an interview to stay in Japan, I visited Tokyo's Odaiba/Bay area. It being the middle of winter and surrounded by snow (and me still slightly suffering from chilblain) walking along an overdeveloped commercial beach district wasn't exactly what matched the weather. But I was in Tokyo and didn't really see why, especially when it turned out the company was going to sponsor by train ride, I should waste my time by returning to boring Hitachi and not use my whole weekend there.

Aside from looking at Akiba shops in a futile search for a birthday present for my mother (oh, I knew there was something else on the plans today) - and bypassing an oppurtunity to buy a small but powered-up iBook, mainly because even with a wireless receptor - my apartment at present is a dead zone as far as internet connectability is concerned. And then spending the night in an overpriced Shinjuku capsule hotel - the trip to Asakusa is definitely worth it for their LP capsule hotel - not only is it a bit nicer (if smaller), the area is nicer and prettier for a solo traveller. If you are in party mode, Shinjuku/Kabuki-cho may be worth it.

Odaiba is certainly a pretty cool area. The nice sea-breeze and scenery was nice even in the snow, and would probably be 10 times as fantastic in Spring/Autumn --- but somehow I suspect the serenity and feeling of isolation is lost when Summer crowds return. Not only are there some good shops, nice eateries (I ate at Captain Santa's - he really does make all your dreams come true), and some cool showrooms and theaters - there's a few nice parks for relaxing, and a few museums. I gave the Maratime Museum a pass, I do like the sea - but for swimming and animals, not boats or fishing - in favour of the Miraiken or the National Museum of Emerging Science and Innovation . Yes I spent my day off at a Science Musuem. Brand me a hopeless geek but Science Musuems are fun (and educational) - my two favourite things in the world. I was meant to only spend an hour hear, I lasted from 1:30- until a bit after closing at 4:40. Damn you very nicfe English translations on almost every display.

Th highlights of the Science musuem were on the Technology floor (the last floor for me to examine). This housed a "drive a robot with a playstation display", superconductors in the devolopment of floating "UFO" technology, nanotechnology, miscellaneous robotics (including ASIMO, Honda's bipedal robot), Phototronics, Virtual Reality CAVE, and how the internet and computer microprocessors work. The internet display was amazing for its almost-near-likeness to dial-up speed of transmissions. Chants of "osoi" (late, slow to do) could be heard from any child who used it.

Driving a robot was pretty fun. First you would prcatice the controls with the demo robot. You could walk forwards, backwards, rear up, rear down, roll left and right. To turn you sort of had to shuffle, but you could do that as well. Next you were admitted into one of those 3D roll-ship theatres like they have at Disney-theme parks, a camera is mounted onto robot number 2 and you have the controls for it in the theatre. You get to walk the robot around and see what it sees - while attendants wave all sorts of fuzzy animals and props in front of it. However they are very careful to ensure you don't run the robot into anything, something they should probably tell the driver before they let them into the theatre.

Other highlights were an examination into the science behind visual, aural, tactile and oral illusions. Olafactory tricks are never too fun, so thankfully they don't include those (though I know some good ones with esters myself). Real-time feeds of Japan's status as a really earthquake ridden island chain can be a little disconcerning, but nonetheless intersting.

After the three an a bit hours I spent trekking about there it was time to head home, though I did have to stave of the temptation to blow my savings on the iBook. Damn, it I should've... I should've...

A Sudden Spate of Topical Satisfaction

As an English teacher and a scientist (I swear I can still make that remote claim), I found this article in my annoying Scientist subscribtion rather interesting. Informing the general people that scientists are normal people like you and I even when they are working out interesting ways to kill you. Hell it even satisfies my Red tendencies "Communists liked scientists". Word on Oath they do.

In other BioEthics news - go see The Island. Despite the annoying fact that the key characters are by nature un-informed idiots it combines a highly stimulating theme with fast packed action and generally cool shit. Plus Ewan MacGregor beating the shit out of himself - gratuitous violence rocks!!!

Hatachi plus one

It was bound to happen eventually. Four years after graduating High School, a year after University, and about 7 months since working as an eduactor of children in a foreign country, I am finally 21 and recognisable as an adult by America and really old people (like my parents).

In a supreme shinobi attempt of sneakiness I managed to pull out two birthday nights (failing at the third). 'Nights' because of conspiracy of snowboarding, frostbite, and a job interview forestalled any effort and planning I had towards a party. First was Saturday night in an attempt to pull out people from work - which was already a bit too hopeful in the first place - and was also foreshadowed by NOVA's poor choice of payment scheduling - which is not my problem though. The second night was fuelled by a determination for karaoke, despite it being a wok night. Which was successful in the oh-so-double-edged-sworded way - I ended up being slightly convinced that leaving at 3am was a good idea and taken to a local family restaraunt - which I have now been avoiding for the past week due to my inability to associate the need to vomit and the bathroom. Damn you tetchy liver - or maybe it was the unwise combination of beer, vodka, tequila, and gin -- at least I didn't touch the shochu that night.

In other news -
My cat died
Australia Post stole a CD out of birthday package
My mother broke her foot
I'm going snowboarding this weekend
It snowed in Hitachi
I suck at interviews
Miraiken is awesome

More on those stories later. I so should've bought that iBook on Monday.

Kuru on the Menu?

C'mon. Its the laughing sickness - you know you want it.

Apparently there was some data suggesting that cannibalism in early human culture could possibly have been a pseudo-eugenic ritual - selecting for resistance to the disease, but a group of scientists at the Pompeu Fabra University in Barcelona have re-examined the data and shot down that idea.

Double checking data using different (and more accurate techniques) can yield surprising results and simple errors.

*kuru*prions*science*news*cannibalism*evolution*early human*

American Army - Automatic Antipathy

(In other news: Forced Alliteration Combined with Irony Ruins Blog Writing Attempt)

What is the response of US Col. Kevin Benson to claims that the US Army is institutionally racist, overly beautocratic, and prone to tackling problems aggressively and head on? To call the 14 page article's writer, British Brigadier Nigel Alwyn-Foster - a person with firsthand top level experience with US Iraqi operations and training - "an insufferable British snob".

Way to go.

It's about as reassuring that the US Army insn't institutionally racist as if he had said "just a dumbass nigger". Benson is now backpedaling pretty quickly and says he is in the process of writing a response to Alwyn-Foster's criticisms. Hopefully he will run it by a cooler-headed proof reader before publication.

*iraq*dumbass comments*moron*racism*army*us*uk*news*alliteration*

Gotcha!? Ebola resevoir found?

Wow. Its science news time.

In the depths of a return of depressing January some good news can be found. Not only did I meet lots of hot young university students last night, but scientists now think they are onto a resevoir for Ebola - with the discovery of an native African animal containing Ebola antibodies without exhibiting signs of the disease.

The animal in question. Fruitbats, and three species at that. Is this an Epidemiological Jackpot? Or just another checkpoint on the road to success?
The story at NY Times and The Scientist

This 1999 piece from Stanford U has a good examination of the factors for and against bats being Ebola reservoirs.

And here you can read someone more intelligent, informed and (so my hormone addled body says) much more smoking hot than me talk on the subject.


*ebola*science*news*epidemiology*virus*bats*africa*

二十歳で二十歳 - Hatachi in Hitachi

So I have come back from Seijin Shiki. I'm sober. It's not yet 5pm. And the only slim chance of success I got was the repeated Hard Gay impressions from a peroxide blonde bearded male Japanese university student. Maybe its a good thing I wasn't drunk.

At least the good news is I can catch the brand spanking new series of Monkey. Fuck yeah! With SMAP's Shingo and the guy from Densha Otako. No nonsense(??!) Buddhist ass kicking fun.

So this adventure actually starts back on Saturday night, or even further Friday night. But I won't regale my tales of hanging out with HHD from I, but due to lack of "dansei" (women) he wasn't quite the jerk I'd come to expect --- though after meeting me in my first week in Hitachi, 7 months ago, he couldn't quite remember ever seeing me before. It involved a lot of alcohol, and having the sneaking suspicion that emetia may have lodged itself in my throat for the next 12 hours.

Saturday night involved less alcohol and visiting a local club that I haven't been to in about 4 months, despite it being about 1 minute from apartment. It doubles as a restaurant Mondey-Friday, so I have actually been on the premises, but club night involves a door charge, and have a reputation for being non-crowded and even less women. Either due to a conglomeration of DJs performing that night, a raffle and hence the drawcard of friends' friends - I'm suspecting that reputation to be less and less deserved. Though I must confess that by 10:30 I was considering packing it in after the beer in my hand due to it being a major cockonlyfest except for I swear 1 guy's girlfriend and cute Miss Seaweed-girl behind the bar. When, hello ladies, a swathe of swarming asian cuties (and as must be mentioned non-cuties) came in. Though when greeted by the sight of about 20 oggling young males I think a few of those who retreated back out the door probably went right back out into the street and not just upstairs.

So with the foil of pseudo-English speaking Japanese males to bounce off, I was able to engage in some conversation, and learn that the majority of those present were in fact my own age (or younger -- and not high school students mind you!). Jackpot! This isn't from a purely sex point of view. I had almost reached the conclusion that between highschool and the age of 25 a small blackhole must exist in Tokai (I have to blame the Nuclear Plant) that sucks you out of the entire Ibaraki region. Either that or my Mum trained of Japanese parents to become a hard-assed party-life destroying bitch. New Year's Eve, despite being quite fun, definitely made me realise I really need some University Student same age friends, its sad passing fact of life when you skip key critical life stages. Damn you universe and IQ.

So the night worked well. Another extremely hot mind and body girl slipped through my grasp. So it moved back into proto-jerk mode to make more acquantances with the youth of Hitachi. So I was left ultimately with yet another swirling calvacade of similar sounding Japanese names and similar looking faces. About the only correct match of name and face I made today still took ages because the guy had massive spiky hair, but when I met him it was all in a bandana.

This isn't me being a misinformed bigot of racist. Japanese have an astounding array of differences in hair style, eye shape, ears, noses and even skin tone just like any other "ethnic group" --- but the fact remains that hair colour and eye colour, major basic features -- especially for a poor Myopic bastard like me are pretty much the same all round. I also sucked with remembering names back home when people wore different clothes, had different hair, different voices and had more than two expressions. I had very little hope of matching names to faces when presented with practically all guys in suits, and all girls not only in kimonos, but dolled up enough with make-up and styling to make them that much harder to identify.

Still I was able to rely on being gaijin being practically impossible to be overlooked by those with some recognition. So was able to meet even more people who I probably won't remember their names especially whne they are introduced to me with names like "Ninja", "Japanes Comedian", "Mafia" and "Rock God". Another hinderance about making friends with young people is not a general lack of maturity - but that those willing to make the plunge into talking to foreign looking guy in a traditionally xenophobic culture - are already missing that certain uniformitifying factor that endears them to those still fond of the more mainstream Japanese culture. As its who you knows that matters, being introduced by a guy that's a bit of a jerk to his friends taints you. But as jerks are the guys who are actually willing to talk to people, I say good on them, and long live the jerk -They are not so bad, just their ways go on misunderstood.

Or all you nice bastards start being friendlier than the jerks.

*20* 二十歳*日立*Japan*外人*成人式*jerk*culture*

O-Inari-San

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

No fireworks this year, the pyromaniac inside was not pleased. I had to settle for sunrise by the ocean - which I suppose was worth it.

With the onset of holidays, and facing the fact that almost every English speaking person I know in town has returned to their respective countries, or gone parading to another, means that I'm likely to be barricading myself inside - if only to be safe from the icy cold - and busying myself with PSP and movies.

So on New Year's I went to a party with the few gaijin I know left in Hitachi, and K, and went to a party at a married couple's apartment with a lot of friends from the Japanese half's school days. With a combination of Guiness, beer, shochu, sake and a very delicious taco salad brewing inside my belly by 11pm, things were not boding well for continued sobriety.

However this was a mature party - and no dancing, or disco lights in sight (though I did score a glow stick... stay tuned) - so things did not break in too much excess. I did participate in the force feeding of Inari, but that was probably as wild as it got.

At midnight we had to contemplate whether or not to walk, in the not-quite-but-sure-as-hell-feels-like-sub-zero temperatures, about 20 minutes to a temple to participate in the New Year gong beating tradition. We eventually reached on a yes decision at about 11:45 (You do the math).

After beating a gong, and scoring position second-to-last in the line of 108, the small group of stragglers left who opted to eke it out on foot (after myself and my friend also eking it out on foot all the way there) stopped at a shrine. We reached the conclusion that Temples are Buddhist, while Shrines are local, and generally Shinto. At the Shrine, with a small donation, you ring a bell, clap, and wish. Then I scored hot smoke from a nice warm burning fire - my companions were only a little worried about my proximity to flames - but while my Japanese is improving, especially with all my drunk conversation practice - I still couldn't understand "Watch out, you're going to get burnt". The Shrine staff were much more bountiful in New Years Gift giving than the Templars. All I got there was an envelope to prove and lord over my friends at home that I beat a gong. At the Shrine, I got cold shochu, warm sake-soup, and a glow stick. Thats right, there was a guy at some isolated Japanese shrine at about 1 am on New Years Day handing out glow sticks - beautiful!

It being winter here in the Northern Hemisphere, sunrise would only be 7 and a half freakin long hours away, rather than the more reasonable 4 and half I could expect back at home. So the long stretch of not falling asleep, and demolishing the remains of food began. The beach, thankfully was a lot closer than the shrine, but the temerature was even worse. I'm really freaking out about the strange colour my toes have decided to turn lately. I can stil feel them, and its not black, but I have no experience with frost induced maladies, so hopefully I can keep all my toes when Spring finally arrives again.

But its obviously not that cold, not only did the masses come out in the morning to observe the tradition of watching the first sunrise of the New Year, but there was an insane mob of surfers who decided that the middle of winter, on a relatively calm day, was a great day to catch some waves. Also represented were those mad-fuckers with souped up vans that appear to very popular, at least in Ibaraki, if not Japan. Its a van. No matter what colour, how many strobes, or even sub-woofer capacity - it will still be a van and horribly destined to be NOT COOL.

Now, I have to get back to writing postcards, I'm on a roll, and only ahve about 50 unwritten cards left.

So enjoy the New Year, or else ...
you won't.

*new year*japan*sunrise*party*temple*traditions*ocean*life*