Noisy Cow Cycles
via The Cow Whisperer, The Scientist
Peter-Christian Schön from Germany, is devoloping a new method for determining when cows are receptive insemination.
Cows don't produce milk unless they are pregnant. So a lot of work is done to try and get milk cows pregnant. Given the cost of artificial insemination, it pays to do it at the right time, and trying to get a handle on a cow's menstrual cycle can be a bit troublesome.
Schön has been paying attention to the sounds cows make, and noticed they seem to fluctuate with hormone levels. Apparently cows stop making a pleasing "mooo" and shift to a heavy hard "brrrrr" sound when they are in heat. They also ramp up the amount of noise they make when receptive, mooing 84% more of the time.
So if you at are bar next to a really noisy disharmonic fat chick who won't shuttup, you can make reference to her similarities to a dairy cow, and cop a heavy handed slap to face. My work in the world will have been done.